Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
