So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
