Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
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Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
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I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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