hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
im holly from the hills drunk
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
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On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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