Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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