Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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