I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
