we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
