Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize