Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
