he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
