Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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