why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
