I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
