Kiss
Puke
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize