I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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