If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
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That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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