if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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