1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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