whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
