you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
