Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
