Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
