My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
