if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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