I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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