You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
