Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
