TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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