Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
