Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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