I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
