its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I understand Curling. That high.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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