The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
