i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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