Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
