No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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