if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
