Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
