wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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