i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
