I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
