just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
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