ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
