I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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