Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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