evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
