I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
