thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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