Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
