If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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