I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
