Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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