I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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