Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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