u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
