So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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