god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
