if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
